A gavel with a bride and groom cake topper represent marriage legalities.


While  meeting a senior patent lawyer at a recent bar association meeting, he inquired as to the area of law I practice. I advised him in my 40 years I have done about everything other than patent law and that these days I do a lot of estate work and act as the senior partner in my small law firms flourishing divorce practice.

In response my comment that we did divorce this very senior lawyer commented “Divorce is all emotional.” I responded back that we tried to make it business like to which he said: “Divorce is an emotional thing.”

The truth is that divorce is in fact very emotional for all involved. The divorce is bound to have painful effects on the parties, the children , employer and fellow workers of both parties. Not to mention the friends and confidants.

Often time we see parties who are ridden with guilt over misbehavior willing to give away the store to hide in shame. The offended party may well be raging in anger over the actions of the other and desire to inflict maximum punishment on a party at moral fault.

Even though California is a no fault state, there remains many opportunities to inflict pain in the divorce process. Too often the advantage of a questionable restraining order is advised by predator lawyers that seek to capitalize on an angry party.

The list of predators goes on and on. Accountants that will leave no stone unturned running up forensic fees for verifying some added income on a known asset. The list goes on and on even including mediators that capitalize on the fact the parties have not defined their assets, haven’t communicated, and as such, there its just a waste of time to go round and round until the assets have been clearly defined.

I hope these comments educate some prospective divorce party to stop and make sure that when they enter a divorce they go about taking care of business. Yes it’s an emotional transition point, but yet there is no substitute  for clearly determining what is separate or community property and communicate clear positions on various assets in accordance with the law. This process may require accountants , a good lawyer and yes a mediator to help the parties come to a final compromise that makes good business sense without being a victim of the divorce predators

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